Defining Moments That Make Us

I want to share the story of me and Janeen, my neighbor years ago in Phoenix who literally laughed in my face when I started to talk to her about my network marketing company.

Now all of us are going to experience those times in our business when someone tells us no, we may even experience some ridicule, some feelings where people make it seem that we’re doing something that’s wrong, with our choice to build a network marketing business.

So here’s what happened.

I was already struggling with my negative thoughts around MLM, and doing business with family, friends, etc. I was fairly new in my network marketing career, and I had a terrible negative MLM blueprint. But you’ve probably heard me share and talk about before.

It didn’t come from anything other than some made up stories in my own mind about what network marketing is, and what it isn’t.

And I had very negative thoughts around what it meant about me, to have a Network Marketing business.

So I was struggling to work my warm market list, and the next person up on my list was my next-door neighbor Janeen. I didn’t have a particularly close relationship with Janeen, in fact we weren’t really friends. We were simply neighbors, and she was someone on my list of people to contact. About my network marketing business. Because like many, I was taught to make a list of everyone who I know.

I was determined to push through my fears and claim success as my own. So I put together what was called my prospecting packet; a cassette, and a brochure, about my particular company service. I got up my nerve,  summoned up my courage from inside and walk next-door and rang her doorbell.

She open the door and I probably stuttered, and stammered, and said way too much and quoted way too many facts about what it was I was doing, and would she be interested in at least listening to the cassette and having a look at this new business I had started.

I will never forget what happened in the next moment she literally threw her head back then brought it back forward, slapped her knee, and laughed hysterically out loud right in my face and in a very loud booming voice screeched “REALLY, you got involved in one of THOSE? They never work.”

She continued to laugh a little more as she shook her head rapidly and said “no! absolutely not; I have no interest whatsoever in doing something like that.”

And I still remember the white hot, red hot feeling coming up my cheeks, from my toes, of shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and anger that rose up through me.

I stumbled and “slunk” my way back home, into my house through the door, and into my closet in my master bathroom, where I liked to lay on the floor and simply think, stew, and hide from my children, often.

I laid there, looking at the ceiling, feeling despair and shame, wondering what was wrong with me. I thought to myself “I can no longer do this. I will no longer do this. This is crazy. Why do I think that I can build a network marketing business? I’m tired of hearing no, I’m tired of other peoples opinions, I’m going to quit, and I’m going to quit doing this to myself. I’m tired of the shame, guilt, humiliation and more.”

I didn’t cry, which made me glad. The longer I laid there…and thought….the more angry I became at her. And, at me….

We weren’t friends. What did her laughter and opinion, and attempt to make me feel small matter? 

Did it possibly matter more than my own opinion of myself; my children’s opinion and my husbands? My hopes; dreams; and determination?

Was I willing to forever look back and know that I allowed her…someone I didn’t hold in particularly high regard, to force my decision to quit? Was I going to allow her opinion mean more to me than anything else?

It would have been a life altering decision, and not in a good way.

I was tired of my own mind drama and negative thoughts.

Finally, I thought, “there is no way I am going to let Mean Janeen be the reason I quit. Quit for me, my children, my husband, my team, my dreams, hopes and goals!” And, what I know I am capable of.

The longer I laid there, the more inspired and determined I became. I didn’t speak of it for years, but it lit a fire within me that has refused to die for decades now.

Every time I thought about quitting, I would see her face, hear her laugh, hear the sound of her slapping her knee, and remember that feeling I felt that day, with her laughing right in my face.

I would figure out a way to make the business work, and I promised myself to do just that, and I did. I moved out of that neighborhood, and moved on up. Created a life of memories I love, and I’m actually grateful for her in my life and story.

So, what’s your story? Who has tried to make you feel small? Who’s opinion are you allowing to mean more to you than your own?

Defining moments are going to happen. Life and the universe will test you. Will you pass the test?

Do you have a question for me? DM me on Instagram @jackieulmer

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