WHY - How Much Does it Matter to Your Success

How I discovered it, what I did with that when I lost my why how I got it back and where I am today.

When I started my network marketing journey, maybe, much like you I was asked by my upline and told in my training to "write down my why..."

 

I started to work on my "why!" 

But the reality of it is, I was very confused about what that really meant. What's my why?

When I started my network marketing business,  I just wanted to make a lot of money. I wanted to create lifestyle freedom. I wanted to create time freedom.

I wanted to stop looking at the cost of everything before making decisions.

Most of all I wanted to make sure that I could stay home full time with my children. That was absolutely my top my number one goal.

My guess is you can probably relate to the idea of having more money, creating more money in your life. So that was a big part of it.

When I first started my network marketing career, my husband was involved with me. It was a mutual decision that we had made being in the airline industry, going through bankruptcies.

Having the issues of job security and the fear of losing a job... what would we do? He's been a pilot forever. Could he get hired somewhere else? We really knew that we were very, very dependent on the employer situation. And, we didn't like that.

You may be able to relate to that exact same thing.

It's interesting, especially in the airline industry, which will never change. It will never change. It will always be a very turbulent industry, pun intended.

It's purely based on economics. It's based on feuding in the world; fuel prices; so many different things that determine the path of that particular industry.

You may be in an industry that's like that too. I don't know, but many, many of them are real estate is is tied to certain things. I mean, obviously, real estate's one of those things. It's always going to keep happening.

People are going to move get transferred buy and sell homes. I mean that that's still going to go on, but a lot of it's tied to economics in terms of time frames when there are up times and timeframes when there's downtime and that's it with most professions most industries, but for us.

So when we first started in network marketing, we worked it together.

And the reality of it is... what I really wanted more than anything was for him to build it, and me to benefit from it.

I was fascinated by the Network Marketing circles. I'm really dating myself, but I was fascinated by the concept of - "you get a few, who get a few, who get a few "and what all of that could ultimately create in terms of income and lifestyle and freedom and all of that.

But I also realized that I didn't want to do it. I did not want to have to step outside my comfort zone get outside my ego and all those different things and talk to people.

If you know my story. You know that I had a very negative MLM blueprint.

And my husband  was super gung ho ho about it. So he did a lot of the heavy lifting. He made his list, he did the things that were supposed to be done. He's very pilot oriente, very analytical.

It's like if this is what has to be done. We just do it, blah, blah.

So the reality of it is, I wanted to kind of be his arm piece I wanted to be the adoring wife that walked across stage with the big check and the top income earner status.

As his partner, but I didn't really want to have to be the one to do it and then something terrible happened.

About three years into our business, he came home from a trip with the airline industry and said," I gotta tell you, I don't want to build a network marketing business anymore. I don't want to personally do it. I totally support you 100%, but I'm not doing it.

Listen to the audio or video for what happened next.

Obviously, I went on to build it and be very successful, but it was a challenge. 

My why was all I had to hold onto. 

I had made a commitment to my children to be there with them no matter what to keep them out of daycare and ultimately over time, all I really had to do was look into the eyes of my children.

And, be reminded of what my. Why was I could let myself down. I could let myself off the hook, but potentially but I was not going to let my children down in any way, shape, or form. So I struggled

I had made that commitment. And I have to tell you, I wanted to quit 1000 times

I would go into my closet. I had to walk in closet still do, but I had one that was first time I'd have to walk in closet back then and Phoenix early

I would lay on the floor and kick and scream and yell, why am I doing this to myself. What's wrong with me. When am I going to figure this out.

But, I kept at it and as you know, the Internet changed everything for me in 1999.

When the why is strong enough, the, how will show up the, how will show up every single time, and it certainly has for me in many, many ways because even when I took my business online.

That solved a lot of challenges for me. I took my business online in October of 1999 and within the first month of doing business online I sponsored my first person.

That solidified my belief from that point forward, I knew that a shadow of a doubt that I could do this that I could be successful that the Internet was the key that I could put myself out there.

And ,I could become the hunted and not the hunter, because I had proven it when that person came to me. And that's really all I needed to keep going building my network marketing business online.

In 2009, I attended a DSWA Leadership event and realized I had lost my why.

My daughter was now 14, my son was 17, our retirement was secure and we were "living the life."

But, I had lost my zest for building. For getting up and out there every day.

I had no real purpose I was going for.

I remember part of the workshop. It was just a it was a small group workshop for leaders in network marketing, there were probably 20 or 30 of us in the room.

One of the questions asked in this workshop was...again - write down your why.

 Deja Vous!

I just stared at the piece of paper and I thought, "oh, well, you know, to be home with my kids, not to ever have them be in daycare...."

Hmm, that didn't stir anything within me, because it was done, it was accomplished, even if I had to go back to work. which I wouldn't have to.

I sat there really struggling to come up with what was my compelling why. 

The company I was with at the time was challenged economically and from a management perspective, too, so that didn't help. I knew it and didn't want to face it.

The room kind of went dark. And I could all I could see was the piece of paper in front of me. That was blank.

I just had no idea where to go with that. The reality of it is I ultimately shortly after that ended up leaving that company for a number of reasons. Essentially, it failed, though not completely, but it's nothing like it used to be.

I saw the handwriting on the wall and that probably had something to do with my lack of a why and lack of motivation, but ultimately I realized I didn't have anything significant that I was working for.

But I struggled with that for a long time. I had a lot of anger, resentment, bitterness over leaving that company different things that happened with the management and the owners.

Feeling like I wasn't treated well when I was trying to be upfront and have integrity. That's a whole other story and I've grown a lot. And hopefully, they've grown a lot and it's just water under the bridge.

My mantra is "everything that's happening to me is happening for me."

So I always try to find a silver lining and there certainly is.

But I floundered for a number of years I had success with my next company. I got to the second to the top level; was a top income earner; was top recruiter; top leader. I won all the awards. Which was great. Validating

On the other hand, I still had never truly found my compelling why and part of it was because honestly, I was harboring a lot of old resentment and anger and bitterness within me toward the company I had left.

 And you've probably heard it before, hanging on to anger and bitterness is like drinking poison, waiting for somebody else to die. And that really is true. 

A lot of what I teach and coach on is mindset and accepting what is and resolving not to argue with the past or the present.

At the end of 2016 I moved back to Arizona from California.

I thought that that was going to be a whole new chapter for me. I kind of hit the ground running going to networking meetings.

I thought, I'm going to really get out there. I'm going to combine the best of the offline and the online world. Really take my business to the next level. And, I had a lot of success.

But I didn't still didn't reach exactly what I was looking for. The biggest reason was, I still did not have a strong compelling why

I didn't have the three C's that I talked about clarity commitment and consistency. The biggest thing I was lacking clarity.

 Who am I, as a business person, I didn't even know how to describe myself anymore.

Was I a social media strategist, a social media trainer coach; was I a Network Marketer; was I building a network marketing business? Was I a network marketing coach?

I was coaching real estate agents. Was I a real estate trainer and coach and I know from the time that I've spent I'm over 21 years now online that in order to really be successful online, there are some things that you have to have into place from a niche perspective.

So that people can find you, whether it's hashtags keyword searches, you know, the search terms the content that you're putting out there. You have to be strategic. So that you're right audience finds you it.

I say this all the time. It's not about "spray and pray" and hope that you'll be successful.

You've got to be strategic in order to have the success that you really desire.

But, I was all over the place. I was fumbling.

My husband couldn't tell people what I did; my children couldn't clearly say what their mom does; my family, my parents, my brother, nobody could.

The reality of it is, I couldn't either.

I was still really lacking that "why."

I joined a coaching program, which is why I'm such a big proponent of coaching. If you're struggling get a coach, right.?

That's why you're here. Get a coach, because your coach can see the blind spots, they can help you through the muck and messiness of figuring it out. They can hold a mirror up to you that says

"This is where your blind spot is, this is where you're struggling. This is where you're thinking is off. These are the things that you really want to work on."

From that program, I built a small mastermind group that I'm still part of today that really helped me.

I was able to come back around to who it is that I want to be; who it is that I want to serve and how I want to serve them.

And once that became clear for me everything opened up.

I started working on building out the Street Smart Wealth Academy.

 I went back to doing one to one coaching with my network marketing clients.

I went back to being very focused on network marketers as my primary niche.

Why? Because I know it like the back of my hand. There's not anything. I haven't struggled with. There's not anything. I haven't overcome.

Except to build it as a single mom. I felt like it sometimes because my husband was gone half the month.

But in terms of truly being a single mom, that's the one area that I haven't done it in.

But I built it as a mom and I feel like with mindset and mindset mastery. I can coach anybody through that process.

Everything started coming together for me and my clarity became a big part of it.

So, I have to ask, what is your big driving why?

The Why is so important.

When you're in a volunteer business such as network marketing and the cost to buy in, in terms of financial is pretty low, there's really not a lot of skin in the game.

There's not a lot of skin in the game.

So it's really important that we have that compelling why because something has to get you out of bed in the morning, something has to get you past the procrastination that all of us run into and get you into forward motion.

Now procrastination is not going to go away. Even when you have that strong compelling why I struggle with procrastination probably three times a day, for the most part.

On Monday, I was struggling with it. Something terrible, I, I just was feeling the Ick of what's going on in the world today and  yet I had committed to doing Facebook Live and my street smart wealth school Facebook group.

I wanted to do some things on Instagram and I just was coming up with every reason not to.

Finally I just kind of grabbed myself by the by the collar, Subconsciously and said, just do it. Do it raw. Do it authentic and just be honest.

On Facebook, you'll see my video where I said, I've been fighting doing this my whole goal was to talk about how to use that focus word to build on it for action and accountability in your business and I did it. And I felt so much better after I did it. And it got me and forward motion for doing other things.

That's the thing with procrastination. When we just can push ourselves through so often we take ourselves to the next place that we need to be to get done what it is that we need to get done so.

Recently I was on a call with one of my coaching clients and that's what came up. There was a lot of frustration procrastination.

She had committed to doing this, this and this and it had been like a three week process where none of it was getting done.

And I finally just had to say what is going on? What is going on.

She said - I don't know. I'm just procrastinating. I can't really tell you.

And so I came back around to what's your why?

And there was a long dead. Pause. What's your why and I immediately flashed back to 2009 sitting in that hotel room, surrounded by 20 to 30 other people. 

As probably the top income earner in that group and not being able to clearly state what my  Why was. And that's when I realized I'd lost it. And so, of course, that was my homework to her.

Find your why!

You've got to go back to basics, you've got to go back to finding that compelling. Why, because when you have the strong compelling why the, how will show up.

I was done with with my warm market, you know, in 1999 six years almost six years into building my business.

I was done with running around a coffee shop meetings running ads going to networking events. I was done with that.

But I wasn't done with my desire to build my network marketing business to be a top income earner and all of that. So I had to stay very committed to my why and being an action and committed to my mindset around that and that's when the how showed up.

That's when the internet marketing seminar, the little ad in the paper advertising the internet marketing seminar showed up. And that's when I went kicking and screaming. It was a beautiful October Saturday and Phoenix and If you've ever been here in October, you know that that's when we finally start cooling down. My husband was home, the family, the kids the pool was beckoning.

Last thing I wanted to do on a Saturday afternoon was drive up to Scottsdale and sit in a hotel room.

But it's the best two hours I ever spent in terms of my business. It changed everything for me and I caught a vision and I knew like nothing else but here's the thing. I was committed to my why I had clarity on what I wanted to accomplish. I didn't have clarity on the how, though.

I Had clarity on what I wanted to accomplish. I was committed to it and I was consistent with being out there trying to find the how and the how showed up for me.

So what are you committed to?

What's your why and is that why compelling enough to get you out of bed into action and doing those things that you need to do?

That's the question that I have for you. And so I want you to spend some time this week really thinking about that.

Spend some time weighing in on that and what those goals are that you want to achieve and what's currently got you stop feeling stuck in your business. And is it possible that your why or potentially lack of a better.

Why is what's holding you back!

 

I teach all of this in the Street Smart Wealth Academy. I have a module called “the People Puzzle” that educate you on psychology in your Network Marketing business.

 

Do you have a question for me? DM me on Instagram @jackieulmer

 

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Jackie Ulmer

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